God Hotline

- Hello?

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- Yes, this is the God hotline..

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- Well, no you can not talk to his holliness, I am his humble servant, may I help you?

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- Oh no we don't do emergencies anymore, you may call 911 for that...

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- I see, so you are in trouble again, do you want us to bail you out? or do you want an usual salvation service? I must remind you that we book hell or heaven rooms as well...

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- Sir, I am not sure whether you want to pray using God hotline..it costs you 1.30$ a minute...

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- Sure, have you paid your dividents?

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- So, I'll arrange for you to be salvated, where do you want your heavenly accomodation to be? I propose the Bahamas sir...

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- Would you like a hell view suit? I can assure you the view is quite spectacular, however there are some noise issues, you know with all the screems and so on...

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- ok, thats's done, now sir, are you a regular customer? do you want to open a regular customer account with us? it will save you 10 cents each minute starting from next call.

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- No sir, we don't need your credit card number, we will charge your phone bill..

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- Thank you and call us again at God hotline... we are open 24/7........enjoy your life while it lasts